


i never gave a damn about the weather

by laneboy



Category: Panic! at the Disco
Genre: Character Death, M/M, Mild Sexual Content
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-28
Updated: 2015-05-28
Packaged: 2018-04-01 16:08:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 652
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4026298
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/laneboy/pseuds/laneboy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"oh, how the rainy days end in a blissful sort of sadness"</p>
            </blockquote>





	i never gave a damn about the weather

Their first time — first  _actual_  time, because according to Ryan, everything else but penetration was foreplay, or teasing — it was raining. Brendon went over to Ryan's, eyes wide and clothes soaked. But Brendon's eyes were always wide, big and brown, like two little suns, sans the heat, but not the intensity.

Ryan's dad wasn't home. He would've kicked Brendon out right away if he was. So Ryan took advantage of his absence, inviting his young boyfriend inside. He asked why he would brave the harsh weather to see the older boy, even though he was really glad he was there.

Brendon just sat there on Ryan's bed for a while, staring at his lap before the words fell past his lips, quick and quiet, like he didn't want Ryan to hear, to understand, but he did.

"They kicked me out."

And Ryan just stood there in shock, staring at the boy the verge of tears, because how could anyone be so cruel to him?

They were both quiet for a while after that, not including the sniffling of a heart broken boy in Ryan's arms. The rain continued to fall.

Eventually Brendon looked up at Ryan, brown eyes filled with tears, and he mumbled something cheesy about love making, Ryan can't remember because he was surprised.

But Brendon was persistent about it, even if Ryan wanted to say no.

And they both thought it'd be a magical moment, something they'd never forget.

But it wasn't.

Ryan didn't have any lube, or condoms, so they thought maybe spit would be a good substitute, but it wasn't. Brendon couldn't take it after a while, so Ryan had to stop and just give him a blowjob. He apologized profusely about ruining their moment, but Ryan didn't care.

So Brendon fell asleep that night in Ryan's arms, and the older boy decided he and Brendon should run away, far away from the shitty city of Las Vegas.

.

Their second time was long after, when Brendon was tired of hiding in Ryan's room, and they finally, _finally_ had enough money for an apartment a few cities over.

They left Ryan's house in the middle of the night, and headed off to their new apartment. They were both riding a high when they arrived, and Brendon wanted to try their first time again.

So Ryan went to the store to buy lube and condoms because he didn't want this time to be a disaster.

It went a lot better than the previous time, but it wasn't perfect. They did it on a futon that was being held together by tape and glue. Brendon kept making Ryan's lips bleed, and Ryan couldn't find or keep a rhythm with his hips. It was sloppy, and sticky, and Ryan knew he wanted to do it with Brendon for the rest of his life.

.

Their third, fourth, and fifth times all blended together in a hazy memory of  _came too fast, forgot the condoms, not enough lube,_ and Ryan really didn't think perfection mattered as long as they were close.

Their sixth time, their last time, everything actually went perfect. Ryan could feel the love radiating off Brendon's skin. He could hear it in the soft groans, and see it in his eyes. It was raining, and it was freezing, but their insides were on fire.

It was finally perfect, and Ryan didn't think he needed it to be, but he loved it, and he hoped it'd always be perfect.

But a week later, Ryan's life fell apart. Because Brendon got hit by a car, and he didn't survive, how could he? And Ryan didn't know what to do anymore. What was he to do without him? He was his sun, his entire world revolved around him, and now he was gone.

And he left behind only an echo of a laugh, and the smell of the damp earth after a storm.

**Author's Note:**

> this is kind of an old piece, but i like it, so i decided to post it.
> 
> i'd appreciate some comments please, thank you.


End file.
